When you are around an anxious person, how do you feel? Irritated, annoyed, concerned, afraid, anxious yourself? Imagine being a child and feeling that from the very person that is there to protect you and make you feel safe? How can they feel safe when they feel your worry?

My daughter came home from school with a sign up sheet for the talent show.  She enthusiastically let me know that she wanted to be in it.  In my knee-jerk reaction I blurted out “Are you sure?  What would you do?” She said “I don’t know, I just want to be in it”.  Even more warily, I said “Do you even know what it is?  It’s where you stand on a stage up in front of everyone and do a talent.”  This time with the added touch of fear in my voice.  That caught her attention.  And she decided that she didn’t want to do it.

I crushed her spirit right then and there

So many thoughts were going through my mind. The time I sang the star spangled banner at a basketball game and my voice cracked and one of my teammates laughed.  All the times I was wrecked with nerves when I had performances (did I mention I used to be a voice major?).  In that moment, I unintentionally pushed all of my fears onto her.