Last night, our family had a rare night off from activities. We ended up in the basement putting a puzzle together. I LOVE these times! I decided to turn CNN on my phone and listen to some of the election coverage. This brought up a lot of questions about politics from my kids (10 & 9) that my husband and I weren’t ready for.
A few weeks ago, I attended a retreat in San Diego, the theme was ‘Dream Big’. We were asked at the opening “What is your intention for this weekend?”. I had been thinking a lot about this on the way to the retreat because of the struggles and blocks I was facing before I came. I resolved to “trust and surrender” to break through my barriers. What I didn’t know was that I was getting ready to get the biggest trust exercise that I never even thought would be possible that weekend.
Each July, I try to organize our back to school experiences to make it as easy as possible. I like to streamline our mornings. THIS year is going to be like every other year except one tiny (minuscule really), itty, bitty little detail….we are living with my parents….
When you are around an anxious person, how do you feel? Irritated, annoyed, concerned, afraid, anxious yourself? Imagine being a child and feeling that from the very person that is there to protect you and make you feel safe? How can they feel safe when they feel your worry?
My daughter came home from school with a sign up sheet for the talent show. She enthusiastically let me know that she wanted to be in it. In my knee-jerk reaction I blurted out “Are you sure? What would you do?” She said “I don’t know, I just want to be in it”. Even more warily, I said “Do you even know what it is? It’s where you stand on a stage up in front of everyone and do a talent.” This time with the added touch of fear in my voice. That caught her attention. And she decided that she didn’t want to do it.
So many thoughts were going through my mind. The time I sang the star spangled banner at a basketball game and my voice cracked and one of my teammates laughed. All the times I was wrecked with nerves when I had performances (did I mention I used to be a voice major?). In that moment, I unintentionally pushed all of my fears onto her.
My son is turning 5. I thought it would be a good idea to write down his interests and gift ideas while it’s still fresh in my mind and provide a gift guide for 5 year old boy.
Remember when Valentine’s Day used to be fun and exciting? I remember when I was dating my husband and I would set up these elaborate surprises for him. I couldn’t wait to see how happy he was and it was just as fulfilling to me to plan it all and see his reaction. The anticipation was exhilarating.
At this point in my life, when I’m knee deep in children, work and school obligations, Valentine’s Day isn’t a high priority item on my to do list. After getting the kid’s valentine’s ready for their classmates, bringing in treats for their preschool parties, thinking of getting your husband a gift, but fail, I’m happy to have the day
I admit, I never had one doubt that Hilary would win. It never even crossed my mind that Trump COULD win, or even be close. How could someone so with so many heinous actions and accusations against him, win America’s vote? My shock and horror watching last night’s results come in remind me of how I felt watching the twin towers blazing and fall to the ground on 9/11. I was speechless, afraid, horrified and angry. How could this happen? Am I safe? Are my kids safe? What is going to happen to our future? What will I tell my kids? Is our country not what I thought it was? I even cried (over an election?) because of the disappointment in our collective values. It made me question whether we are moving forward in our collective consciousness or if everyone is still on the hamster wheel of life.
After 9/11 we banded together with a steadfast cause. To unite, to defy an enemy and to stand together. This is not that. BUT I did feel my call to change my life and live for love more now than ever. I will focus on love, not hate. Empathy, not judgement. Understanding, not fear. I am shifting my focus to what I want to happen instead of being the victim of the circumstances around me. I will let go of what I don’t have control over and start focusing on what I do want in my life, family and world. I am taking my power back.
I don’t know what this will look like, but I believe we take this momentum of disappointment and use that energy to make change. Let’s show America and the world that America is not hate and fear, it is love and hope. I pray for all of us to awaken to our inner call for something more. We are more, there is more. Our capacity to love and help others is infinite, so let’s spread this message rather than feel defeated. Will you join me?