This week we celebrate my (not so) little girl’s 9th birthday! She loves reading, art, dragons, friends, family and bossing around her brothers! Read this 9 year old girl gift guide.
One year ago, we knew we had to do something for our son, who was 9 at the time. We had just started 4th grade and the anxiety and “self-hatred” attacks (as I call them) were getting out of control. The month leading up to 4th grade had seen the most melt downs and inconsolable debates that we had ever experienced. Nights where he would cry and tell us how stupid and ugly he was. He wished that he was dead. I couldn’t take it any more. I did what I always do….Google.
We started our Brain Balance journey back in August. Our son was having a really hard time adjusting to school and it was the culmination of years of trying different things to help him. We decided to enroll him in the program at Brain Balance.
A few weeks ago, I attended a retreat in San Diego, the theme was ‘Dream Big’. We were asked at the opening “What is your intention for this weekend?”. I had been thinking a lot about this on the way to the retreat because of the struggles and blocks I was facing before I came. I resolved to “trust and surrender” to break through my barriers. What I didn’t know was that I was getting ready to get the biggest trust exercise that I never even thought would be possible that weekend.
I want to document this journey for others who may be going through similar situations. This is our introduction and first few weeks doing the program at home. I wrote in a previous post about our decision to start our son on the Brain Balance program. I am excited and hopeful to finally have some answers, but truth be told…I’m terrified.
Having a child is the most beautiful, surreal, challenging and sometimes heartbreaking time in your life. When I had my first child, it was the most surreal moment of my life. They put him, tiny, wet, shriveled little body on my belly and I remember feeling like, “this isn’t real, what is happening?” I had an out of body experience. We had thought all along he was a girl (we didn’t find out), let alone a real, live human being. To say that I didn’t take to motherhood well was a hushed, not-talked-about, secret I held. I had a romanticized vision of what motherhood would be like. It. was. not. that.
Each July, I try to organize our back to school experiences to make it as easy as possible. I like to streamline our mornings. THIS year is going to be like every other year except one tiny (minuscule really), itty, bitty little detail….we are living with my parents….
When you are around an anxious person, how do you feel? Irritated, annoyed, concerned, afraid, anxious yourself? Imagine being a child and feeling that from the very person that is there to protect you and make you feel safe? How can they feel safe when they feel your worry?
My daughter came home from school with a sign up sheet for the talent show. She enthusiastically let me know that she wanted to be in it. In my knee-jerk reaction I blurted out “Are you sure? What would you do?” She said “I don’t know, I just want to be in it”. Even more warily, I said “Do you even know what it is? It’s where you stand on a stage up in front of everyone and do a talent.” This time with the added touch of fear in my voice. That caught her attention. And she decided that she didn’t want to do it.
I crushed her spirit right then and there
So many thoughts were going through my mind. The time I sang the star spangled banner at a basketball game and my voice cracked and one of my teammates laughed. All the times I was wrecked with nerves when I had performances (did I mention I used to be a voice major?). In that moment, I unintentionally pushed all of my fears onto her.
Are you struggling with your New Year’s Resolutions, purpose or sticking to your goals? I’m sharing my story of awakening to my miracles and direction to fulfilling them.
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My son is turning 9. I thought it would be a good idea to write down his interests and gift ideas while it’s still fresh in my mind and provide a gift guide for 9 year old boy.
The older they get, the more expensive they get!